i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
