just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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