mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
