we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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