went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
