he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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