Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize