Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Bring me that man meat
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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