so explain again why im purple
no
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
