Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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