i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
