is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
