i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize