is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
