i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
