I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
