You can't motorboat a personality
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
