hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
