I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
