Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
