South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
