At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
