Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
