just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This house was built for laser tag.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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