If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My vagina is officially offended.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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