There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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