He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
