I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
