JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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