I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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