I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
