guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
