We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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