Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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