Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i think i just naturally attract stoners
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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