after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
