I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
