Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
