you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
