people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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