How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
