so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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