I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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