I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
