you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
