i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
