your room smells of hookers.
And success
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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