i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
