I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
