Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
