508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize