You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
