I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
