I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
