I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
